It’s okay to be single. That’s what I was going to write about. I even started a piece on it, saying that I was content with being single right now. But as I was typing away over the last week, several people I know (and don’t even know, but heard about) got married, started dating, or got engaged…and I realized that I am not happy with my current state. I know that it’s okay to be single and that it can be a very special blessing, something I’ve been learning this last year. I can’t tell you how many tears I’ve shed over the fact that I have never been in a relationship or had someone ask me out. It hurts to be alone, as I watch everyone else my age (and younger) start dating. I’ve had to learn that my worth doesn’t come from any person or my relationship status. My worth as a human being comes from the one who made me: God. I used to wonder what was wrong with me, and why I was so unattractive. I felt like I was unworthy of love. I desired so desperately to have someone care about me, love me, prove to me that I was worth something. I’ve been learning (very slowly, at times!) that I am so much more than what my relationship status is. But the hurt and loneliness of being single still lingers.
Single, unattached, alone…so many different terms to explain what your current state is. It hurts when people look at you with the ‘still single?’ question showing in their eyes. Yes, I still dream that I will meet someone, fall in love and get married. It’s something I hope is in my life story. I want to have children and grandchildren. That day may come sooner than I think and I am happy with that, and if it comes later I’m doing my best to be content with that. I hate waiting! I want someone to share the joys and sorrows of life with. I would like to have someone by my side. There is so much I want to do with my life, and ways I want to grow into becoming the person God wants me to be, but I really truly desire to share that with a special someone.
So, you see, this really isn’t at all what I set out to write. I was going to share some ‘great wisdom’ about the beauty of being single. I wanted to let you know that if you are single, it’s perfectly okay to be so. You don’t have to feel pressured to be in a relationship, or feel as if you are not living up to your own (or others) expectations. It’s okay to be content with being single, and love being single! And all of that is very true, but I found it wasn’t true for me right now. How I wish it was! I so wish I could stand here and tell you in all sincerity that I am perfectly happy being single and have found freedom and contentment. I haven’t. I’m still searching for that, praying that I can have joy in this stage of my life. So, dear readers, whatever stage of life you are in right now, I hope that you find peace and contentment and know that you are not alone. If you are struggling with being single, like I am, take this time of your life to grow in your relationship with God and to become more of the person He created you to be. Pray for peace of mind and spirit, and pray for contentment. It’s hard to ask God for peace in being single when you feel anything but peace with it, I know! But I’m learning that it really does help to bring those requests to God, and to even pray that you would meet someone who would draw you closer to Him, but in all things that His Will be done.
I hope that you can see the many blessings in your life, whether you are married, engaged, dating or single. We have so much to learn in every stage of life, and I pray you can see your own worth just as God sees it. He made you, and He loves you very much.